My Savior God has come to thee

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Last night Paul and I had the privilege of attending Saturday evening service at Ecclesia with our dear friends.

It has been awhile since I have been to a church service and it was much-needed. I have been carrying a load of sorrow for a while now and when I started praising the Lord amongst others who love Him just as much as I do, His grace covered me and brought me back to Him. I have felt the Holy Spirit inviting me to Communion and I honestly felt too hurt to accept.

Life can be overwhelmingly cruel.

Women I meet are getting diagnosed with breast cancer and treated everyday. Breast cancer is more than a pink ribbon worn on shirts or the  bracelets that say ” I heart boobies” from the Keep a Breast Campaign. It’s a raw, vulnerable, scary disease that is taking the women and men that we love and care for.
Our worship leader was diagnosed with  bladder cancer very recent and underwent surgery. Yet, he was still singing and leading us in a beautiful time of worship.

Along with him was our pastor, he had just  lost his father in-law to a heart attack the day before. He was there, along with his children, without his wife who was on a plane home. Yet, he was still preaching to us, his community.
And here I was, standing along with my sweet husband, desperate for communion with our Creator and  our one love despite having our second miscarriage just 2 weeks ago. Still raw, still vulnerable, still hurt.

The one truth that remains, is that although life is cruel, our Creator is NOT.

As I read today and listen to music that stirs my soul, I am reminded again of His grace.

Robbie Seay sings a song that we sang in worship last night and I can’t get it off my mind today:

Oh, love that will not let me go
I rest my weary soul in thee
I give you back this life I owe
and in your ocean depths its flow
may richer, fuller be

Oh, light that follows all my way
I yield my flickering torch to thee
and my heart restores its borrowed ray
that in your sunshine’s blaze its day
may brighter, fairer be

And rejoice, my heart! rejoice, my soul!
my Savior, God, has come to thee
Rejoice, my heart! you’ve been made whole
by a love that will not let me go

Oh, joy, that seeks me through the pain
I cannot close my heart to thee
I trace the rainbow through the rain
and feel the promise is not vain
that morn shall tearless be

Sing, rejoice, my heart! rejoice, my soul!
my Savior, God, has come to thee
Rejoice, my heart! you’ve been made whole
by a love that will not let me go
it’s a love that will not let me go

And my sweet friend gave me a book to read called, “Bittersweet” by Shauna Niequist and it was given to me at such a perfect time.
Let me give you a passage from the book:
“I believe that suffering is part of the narrative, and that nothing really good gets built when everything’s easy. I believe that loss and emptiness and confusion often give way to new fullness and wisdom.”

As I was cleaning earlier, I felt the Holy Spirit speak to me and say, ” The same God that formed the two babies in your womb is the same God that formed Jonah, River,Anna, Shepherd and Solomon (my niece and nephews). They show you everyday how good I am”

For that I am grateful. His grace makes me grateful. His gift of life makes me grateful. Even the death we experience here on earth makes me grateful.

May the wounds of life give us fullness and wisdom and deeper love for our Creator.

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